The Intolerable Clock: A Non-Canon Hexarchate RPG

Friends, [suspected] -archs, downwellfolk: it is I, Eshegen Rahal Eshegen Virmad, bringing a plan to defeat the -archate once and for all(?). We all are aware, of course, of the temporal portals which, we have discovered, also permit travel between realities.

One of those realities — indeed, many of them, by the simple laws of probability, or something like that, I assume — must be a reality where the galaxy is populated not by humans but, rather, by sentient cats. A reality where the seven faction emblems are not Kniferose, Ashhawk, Mirrorweb, Voidmoth, Scrywolf, Ninefox, and Stingray, but instead Knifecatnip, Ashgriffin, Mirrorwaterbowl, Voidmoth (for hunting), Scrylion, Cat-o-Ninetails, and Catfish. Where everything is fluffy except when its belly is touched without permission, in which case it is clawed.

It is to this reality that I propose we turn for help in enacting my plan. By the simple laws of probability, probably, if there are radicals and revolutionaries in our reality(ies), they must, too, exist among the felines who represent our better — nay, our best — selves. I submit to you all that the most effective way to defeat the tyrants who govern our reality(ies) is with their help: let us unleash on them, unsuspecting, a flood of cats. They will be overrun and unable to bring themselves to react with force. We will crush them beneath our allies’ fuzzy little paws.

This, my friends, will be our salvation! This will be our victory!

Thank you.